Passing the Wiz Quiz

This article is an excerpt from “Tips to Passing Your Wiz Quiz,” as read in The Art of Mary Jane.

The Art of Mary Jane believes no one should be forced to undergo urine testing, especially for marijuana. Aside from launching a legal challenge, your best defense against urine testing is to be clean.

Unfortunately, this may be difficult since urine tests can detect marijuana 3-10 days after a single use, and 4-6 weeks or more for heavy chronic users. If you are in the job market, it is prudent to expect to be tested and avoid marijuana. However, recognizing that many of you face drug testing on short notice, we offer the following advice for emergencies with our best wishes (but no promises!).

The general strategy for passing urine tests is to increase your fluid intake and urine flow soaps to dilute the concentration of THC metabolite in your urine below the threshold of detection. In the days or hours preceding the test, you should wash yourself out by drinking plenty of fluids. Water is fine – contrary to popular rumor, drinking vinegar doesn’t help.

You can boost your fluid output by taking diuretics, which stimulate urination. The most potent diuretics are prescription drugs, widely used for high blood pressure. Weak diuretics of dubious efficacy are found in certain over the counter products, such as premenstrual pills for water retention. Contrary to rumor, phenylpropanolamine, the active ingredient in Dexatrim, is not a diuretic and is likely to make you test positive for amphetamines.

The night before the test, drink lots of liquid – as much as you can stand. Be sure to empty your bladder the next morning, since urine that accumulates overnight tends to be “dirty.” Prepare for the test by loading up again on lots of fluids. Boost this with a diuretic if possible.

If you’re taking the test on short notice without time to wash out beforehand, the following method has been suggested by a former army drug testing officer [Robert Freeman, “How to Beat a Drug Test,” High Times, August, 1988]: Take an 80-milligram dose of the prescription drug Lasix (furosemide); take a hefty drink of water; piss two or three times; then take the test. (Again, the caution above regarding the dangers of diuretics to some individuals applies.)

One slight hitch with urine dilution is that some labs are suspicious of the clear, watery urine it produces. You can fix this by taking 50 or 100 milligrams of vitamin B-2 (available in B-Complex vitamins) which will color your urine yellow for a couple of hours. Contrary to popular rumor, Vitamin C doesn’t help.

If you are lucky and didn’t smoke too much pot, a good washout may get you past a test on a weekend notice.

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Out of a Smoke-Filled Closet

I smoke pot.

In theory, these should be three simple words to say. They certainly are very short words, and you could get them out in the space of a second, though the people you talk to may ask you to repeat them a few times so they know they heard correctly. Seems for many stoners, the partaking of cannabis is something enjoyed in private. How many of us have sealed jars of buds tucked away in a closet or other hidey-hole, places we know our parents, friends, co-workers, and even spouses won’t know to look? One would think there’s nothing wrong with being open about what you enjoy, but when it comes to smoking pot it’s a different ball game.

Of course, unless you have a card that permits you to buy from a dispensary or you live in an area where weed is legal, if you toke you are probably breaking the law. If word gets out about your favorite vice, you may risk losing your job, and the chances of being branded negatively increase. Smoking weed for leisure rather than medicinal purposes often comes tied to the stigma that stoners are shiftless, lazy, and just plain dumb. Yet, many of us might be quick to point out that a business executive’s nightly cocktail does more physical and mental damage to a body, though who’s going to listen to a dumb pothead?

Is it a good idea to come out to friends and family as a smoker? This largely depends on your situation. As a responsible adult able to hold down a job and handle daily expenses, you probably feel your vice is no more harmful than smoking cigarettes and drinking beer after a hard day. In truth, it isn’t, but if you’re surrounded by people who cringe at Harold and Kumar and feel justice is served when a celebrity is busted for possession, you may feel safe in a smoke-filled closet.

If you gauge that friends and family may be more liberal-minded, your decision to literally air out your preferences should be handled carefully and gently. Shock value probably won’t win you points – you don’t want to sit down in the living room while everybody is watching TV, light up a joint, and start puffing. Just as you want people to respect your decisions and opinions, it goes both ways. When you engage in conversation about marijuana, listen to your loved one’s concerns. If you are so inclined, ease in what you know of cannabis and the benefits, and assure everyone that weed is not a gateway to truly damaging drugs.

You may be asked about your smoking habits – how often you toke and where you do it. If people are more accepting of your choices, they may be more concerned about the legality of your activities, especially when it comes to where you get your weed. While you probably do not want to go too much into detail about that, you want to let friends and family know that you have a good handle on your smoking, that you are discreet and don’t push weed on others, and that you definitely continue to function well.

Coming out to friends and family about smoking pot can be a scary proposition, and this might not be a good time to talk openly about it. Look for the right cues when with friends and family, and decide for yourself if they should know at all. Most importantly, don’t feel shame either way.

Bobbie Carson writes about Mary Jane girls and cannabis culture.

December Issue is Up!

Cannabis is as old as time itself. It’s said that God doesn’t make mistakes, and that He created all the animals and plants. This logic can only conclude that cannabis is no mistake – it’s here for reason, and many people find that reason is helping them deal with physical pain, insomnia, depression, and a host of other ailments.

The December issue of The Art of Mary Jane is now ready for your reading and viewing pleasure. We have the most incredible photo spread of model Chloe Hemmat surrounded by hookahs brimming with God’s greatest creation, plus insightful articles on cannabis use during the time of the Bible. You’ll definitely find things in here you weren’t taught in Sunday school!

Review: Vapor Genie

With my last post on cannabis paraphernalia being a more expensive combustible review, this week we move towards two words that you normally don’t see together:  inexpensive vaporizer.  When I mean inexpensive, I’m talking the Vapor Genie, a sub-60 dollar vaporizer.  And get this, it works!

We’re going to add another word to those two that don’t go along. Now, say it with me, Inexpensive PORTABLE Vaporizer.  Okay, now that we’ve gotten the formalities out of the way, we can get on with the review.

I’ve got here a classic wood grain, purchased retail for only $55.  It’s a vaporizing pipe.  It looks like a pipe, but not some obvious 420 glass pipe.  It looks not all that different from something you’d seen being smoked in a den, with a snifter of brandy and reading your favorite magazine (like The Art of Mary Jane, hint. Have you subscribed today?) in a wingback chair.  So this wooden pipe has a bowl and a bubble of wood over the bowl.  In that bubble of wood is a ceramic “flame filter.” You unscrew it, and you put your herb in the lower chamber, then screw this upper bubble over it.  You apply flame much as you would to a pipe, heating the chamber, but not the herb.

Don’t get me wrong, you will screw up the first time.  There is a little learning curve to apply just the right amount of heat.  You get a vaporizing effect that you inhale through the pipe as you would a normal tobacco pipe.  The vapor has a range to it, from cool and barely there to hot, burnt-popcorn tasting stuff.  All depends on how hard you hit the flame.  So practice and once you get it right, it’s like riding a bicycle.  You want that happy medium, good vapor efficiency without approaching combustion.  If you blast this thing with a torch lighter, you will ruin it or actually combust your herb, which is not the point of this.  You want to be sure to teach people you are sharing with what to do first so they don’t burn your herb or, worse yet, burn your pipe.

Vapor Genie is available in a myriad of colors along with metal tip models, annew all glass model, and special hand-carved ones.  They range from $55-65.  This is a real vaporizer, just one that has no electronics, and uses a lighter’s flame for heat.  Despite my own misgivings, this thing does perform well and was really good at getting the most out of my herb.  As with just about all vaporizers, you want to grind finely and remember to save your spent herb.  That can be used for butter-making and baking.  Just in time for the holidays!

Pros: Fits in a pocket; Cheap
Cons: Takes practice/learning curve; Combustion occurs if not careful

Bobbie Carson writes about marijuana culture and Mary Jane girls.

Strains are Like Snowflakes…

If you have never smoked marijuana in your life, or if you have and just never paid attention to exactly what you’ve rolled, you may not realize that cannabis strains are as varied as other types of plants. Growing marijuana, for the serious counterculture horticulturalist, involves nurturing various strains of the plants and harvesting a multitude of buds that yield different results.

When it comes to weed, you simply can’t throw a few seeds in a pot and expect to get high come spring, which is why I have great respect for growers who have the patience for this sort of thing. As you realize the true diversity of cannabis, you’ll note that trying different varieties is almost like going out to taste wine. You know a California Chardonnay will differ from a Virginia Viognier and a Portuguese Port by virtue of color and aroma even before you sip, and the same can apply to marijuana.

Recently I came across a site called iStrainGuide, which details over seventy different types! Did you ever think that many styles of cannabis could exist! I can’t name seven varietals of wine grapes, but if you check out iStrainGuide (and there’s an app for that, too), you’ll see photos of each strain along with information on what effects to expect and how it can be used medicinally.

Of course, what the site won’t tell you is where to get the stuff. If you carry an MJ card, however, and have access to a dispensary you at least can go there more informed.

Bobbie Carson writes about cannabis culture and Mary Jane girls.