Passing the Wiz Quiz

This article is an excerpt from “Tips to Passing Your Wiz Quiz,” as read in The Art of Mary Jane.

The Art of Mary Jane believes no one should be forced to undergo urine testing, especially for marijuana. Aside from launching a legal challenge, your best defense against urine testing is to be clean.

Unfortunately, this may be difficult since urine tests can detect marijuana 3-10 days after a single use, and 4-6 weeks or more for heavy chronic users. If you are in the job market, it is prudent to expect to be tested and avoid marijuana. However, recognizing that many of you face drug testing on short notice, we offer the following advice for emergencies with our best wishes (but no promises!).

The general strategy for passing urine tests is to increase your fluid intake and urine flow soaps to dilute the concentration of THC metabolite in your urine below the threshold of detection. In the days or hours preceding the test, you should wash yourself out by drinking plenty of fluids. Water is fine – contrary to popular rumor, drinking vinegar doesn’t help.

You can boost your fluid output by taking diuretics, which stimulate urination. The most potent diuretics are prescription drugs, widely used for high blood pressure. Weak diuretics of dubious efficacy are found in certain over the counter products, such as premenstrual pills for water retention. Contrary to rumor, phenylpropanolamine, the active ingredient in Dexatrim, is not a diuretic and is likely to make you test positive for amphetamines.

The night before the test, drink lots of liquid – as much as you can stand. Be sure to empty your bladder the next morning, since urine that accumulates overnight tends to be “dirty.” Prepare for the test by loading up again on lots of fluids. Boost this with a diuretic if possible.

If you’re taking the test on short notice without time to wash out beforehand, the following method has been suggested by a former army drug testing officer [Robert Freeman, “How to Beat a Drug Test,” High Times, August, 1988]: Take an 80-milligram dose of the prescription drug Lasix (furosemide); take a hefty drink of water; piss two or three times; then take the test. (Again, the caution above regarding the dangers of diuretics to some individuals applies.)

One slight hitch with urine dilution is that some labs are suspicious of the clear, watery urine it produces. You can fix this by taking 50 or 100 milligrams of vitamin B-2 (available in B-Complex vitamins) which will color your urine yellow for a couple of hours. Contrary to popular rumor, Vitamin C doesn’t help.

If you are lucky and didn’t smoke too much pot, a good washout may get you past a test on a weekend notice.

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